Almost There....

Two days left!!! I'm so excited and nervous that I literally cannot sleep. It may be a good thing, I will have more time to pack. It's so quiet in the dead of night. Even the white noise of the ac is loud.

There are only a few things left out of boxes. It's so strange to pack up an entire living space, kitchen and all, into boxes. I've never seen all or my (our) stuff all lumped together. Even when we moved into the apartment a year and a half ago we only had a quarter maybe of what we have now. Perhaps even closer to an eighth. By no means do we have an exorbonant amount of things.... shoes perhaps (who doesn't?). Still, it's strange. In a good way of course. It puts the fact that I have my own life into perspective. As I pack I look at the books and appliances and other stuff and I think to myself "Wow, all of this is my stuff. This is all that I have worked for." It feels good. I feel accomplished. Most of all I feel ready for the next step. Steps.

It reminds me of a time when I was sixteen. I was on the run, or a holiday, depending on who you asked. Anyways, I was staying on a friend of a friends couch. He was obviously much older. Probably closer to my age now. He had a small one bedroom apartment. We all came from the same place, more or less. Unsupportive parents, bad families or what have you. He looked around and said "This is what you get..." among other things. We were all drunk, at the very least. I looked around and at the time it seemed impossible. I look around now and see that I have surpassed what I saw then, and I am eternally happy. It does make me wander what the tree of us there that night seven years ago would have been like if we were from better families. "Better" it is such a vague term when talking about family. Better could mean more money. Then we'd be in the same trouble with more expensive toys. So no, that's not what I mean. So then I must be wondering if the three of us were given love structure and support? Not just one or two but all three? Would we have even been there at all? Would we be better for it? Who knows. Some digging on myspace shows that for some the wounds never heal. Poor souls. Poor thing...

So coming away from memory lane and on towards the days to come. I'm hoping that my camera will stop being annoying and work right, I'd really like to document the move. If not, I'll just write. Until next time, good bye.

2 Weeks Left in the Armpit!

I must apologize, that I began my journal of the Boston trip and never finished. It is over a month since I visited and too much time has passed for me to properly recall it. Looking back I will say that I absolutely loved being in such a dense cosmopolitan atmosphere. Being immersed in it rekindled my desire to be back in the city, for it is truly where I belong. Now I am closer to being back in a proper place than I have been in nearly two years. Yes, it will be a month short of two years in this desolate place. But onto good news and brighter thoughts.

I have got the position in the spa which I so desired! It was such arduous work going out to Raleigh once a week for the past month, but it paid off. I interviewed with three different establishments and I know that I chose the best option, it's exhilarating and soothing all at once. I am elated to be moving with the most important things secured, the job and the apartment. The spa is named Skin Sense. There are three locations, with a separate headquarters and call center. It is an establishment on the grandest scale that I have had the pleasure to work for. Accompanying the grandeur of such a company comes the ever important benefits, which I am relieved to have taken care of. Speaking of which, I have been giving much thought to self employment and the benefits of it. True, all of your profits are your own and no one else's but it is it really more profitable to do so when you step back and look at the larger scheme of things? It is really too much for me to get into now, and I do plan on taking a serious look at the numbers as well as the pro's and con's. For now, I am happy - very happy - with my latest venture.

I am wondering also where my Reiki practice will go from here, or more correctly, where I will decide to take it. I have always given it half the energy that I have known that it needed, but I always saw it as part of my massage practice. Now I am realizing that it can and should be separate. I am trying to write my handouts for my first Master level class. I have so many ideas, but when I sit down to get it all together it scatters. I think that I think too much on the matter and worry nonsensically about order and perfection in the first draft. I also know that I never give myself enough time to get it all together. It is quite a task, creating a class. Lesson, text and test. Not forgetting to mention the part about public speaking and taking authority on a subject. I often feel like a child dropped into the pool at her first swimming lesson, when you feel utterly helpless, about to drown. Inevitably I always surface, but I still have trouble swimming. I know I will and can get it together and succeed, so I keep working.

That is all for tonight. I will try to put my thoughts of work to rest for now. It takes much time to get matters of work off my mind, I find they keep me up at night most often. Hopefully this entry will have cleared most of those thoughts from me for tonight. Good night.